I am your classic "enneagram three" achiever. I get a lot of joy from feeling like I have mastered something, and in short, I like to be good at the things I like. For example, when I was eight years old, I can vividly recall my dad telling me that he did not think I could pogo-stick to the end of the neighborhood... so I tried for about a week until I could show him I, in fact, definitely could. I also remember my soccer coach challenging me with juggling the ball. It took me about a full day out in the cold, but I would not let myself stop until I reached 100 juggles, even if it meant being there until dark. These funny childhood memories illustrate my desire to do things that test me. In a lot of ways, I was, and still in someways am, a performer with a growth mindset. Tell me I can't, I'll show you I can.
While it sounds like I was your typical fierce little girl, that did not always continue to ring true. In all honestly, I am still a fairly good performer, but not always the best risk taker. I love doing the things I am good at- snowboarding, hiking, reading, marketing for work, etc. However, I do not like doing the things I am not good at- math, running long distances, volleyball, etc. While these are superficial lists, there are a lot of emotional and relational things that I find myself being insecure about, as well. I take a lot of pride in seemingly being confident, but I mostly only radiate my growth mindset to avoid failure.
In light of this, I realize that I need to challenge myself more when nobody else is watching. This may look like doing things for myself, like going for a run everyday, and not sharing my results or comparing myself with anyone. This may also look like welcoming healthy criticism more into my life. Currently, I put on a pretty great face of taking criticism, but later I let it define me and negatively circulate in my mind.
It is a mindful, every day choice for me to choose a growth mindset when I am alone or anxious. Dweck's video was highly interesting to me, and almost hard to believe the evidence, because it seemed too good to be true. Scoring a 22 on the mindset quiz lines up to me, as I feel like I carry this mindset strongly about 70-80% of the time. As a learner, I want to whole-heartedly believe that effort is genuinely enough sometimes, as it proves to solidify my perseverance and tolerance of ambiguity. I want to strengthen these qualities because I long for my future students, children, and friends to have them, too. And the best way to express that is by modeling it.
Based on what I read here, I predict that your students will feel your confidence and begin to respond to it, because if you model it, they will not be able to see the doubts you are hiding. If they cannot see it and they start mirroring it then I think that you might start mirroring them back. I like your ability to meet challenges and I took your antidotes to be inspirational. I believe you are right to believe strongly in the ability of simply making an effort, because the act of trying is the first step to learning. Trying again is the next step in growing.
ReplyDeleteEmily,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! It is always so easy to do the things we are good at. Yet, as an observer I find the same struggle in doing things I am not so good at. Which also can cause us to stay within our comfort zones. This then prevents us from wanting to reach out past the statue of limitations we have set for ourselves. To be persistent and never giving up no matter the task is important. You modeling for your students is a great representation which I can tell from your passion within your blog. You are going to inspire many students one day.
Emily, thank you for sharing your blog post! I agree with you, I like to do things I'm good at, and get scared when I have to try new things because I am scared of failure, especially when that failure occurs in group settings. I think it is very strong of you that you recognize that you want to challenge yourself when no one is around. I think you are going to be a great mentor and person your students will look up to. I know you will inspire them! Thank you for sharing!
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